I made it through the hardest Summer of my life. Barely. September was even harder. So if my photography/blog seemed dark at times, it was. Art is a reflection of the mind. My loss is very deep and uniquely personal. I am healing and learning to live with it. Not looking for sympathy or condolences, and am choosing not to participate in Social Media hoopla. I am only telling key friends in person, when the time is right. However, I feel a need to be transparent. With you, my longtime dear blogger friends. Who would have no way of otherwise knowing, that there is a reason things may seem different. That I seem different. I am. I have been profoundly changed forever. By circumstances out of my control.
I've been feeling much like the leaves I shared on Sunday Stills #20 . That photo was a cropped version of the one below. No photoshop wizardry was used. I tell viewers if I ever do major edits, which is just about never. This darker view is looking into our pine woods. Look at the leaves. I mean REALLY look at the leaves, and the photo overall. It tells a story, about life.
In addition to my personal loss, I was surprised to find out that pancreatic cancer took a photography friend (younger than me) this Summer. Our busy paths took us in different directions. We never got to shoot together, with our matching equipment & similar love of nature.
A younger horse friend is about to have a double mastectomy, to hopefully stop the big C. Another horse friend is in remission from no less than 3 different rounds and types of cancer. I've recently enjoyed treasured time with both of them.
There are a lot of life lessons to embrace from these three incredibly strong and wonderful women. As well as my hero. My beloved mom. Who raised me as a single parent in a country foreign to her, before it was the norm.
This is easily my favorite photo of us:
Me at 29 & my mom Aurora (the 2nd) at age 59
(photo of a photo, with discoloration & specks)
Let's just say, the transition from Summer into Fall has been transformative. I've re/connected with caring friends, while others will forever remain as acquaintances. Even when I thought they were more than that. When life gets hard, you find out who your people are.
I still have two of my most important humans on this earth, who truly love and understand me. My husband and my son. Thank god for my guys!! This world would be a very very lonely place with out them. Especially Brad. He knows me better than anyone else, and after all these years still chooses to spend his life with me. I have no idea how he puts up with my crazy, but I sure am thankful he does.
These are the very same leaves as the photo above, looking out of our pine woods. A much different view and feel. It also tells a story.
All we can do is Seguire Adelante (continue forward) and I am. It won't be easy, without the one person that has loved me unconditionally and been there for me my entire life. Even in her frail condition. Even as she made her way out of this world. Always and forever.
my mom's sky the day she took her last breath
(the Milky Way view, from our property)
~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~
Public comments on this post have been turned off. With personal reflection, I prefer to connect one on one. If you ever find yourself in a place where sharing a meaningful conversation about a topic no one ever wants to discuss would be helpful, I am more than willing.
