It is 1F in WI this morning, it feels as cold as I feel distant to my horse. It's been so long since I've ridden or spent time with him, all I am left with is wonder. How will I __________ fill in the blank. Whatever connection Koda & I had built up, fades away one degree at a time...
...feeding grain on weekends while hubby forks over some hay, pales in comparison. Koda
isn't interested in interacting, he wants his food. Normal and
expected. He tolerates my hugs, but then we leave and let them enjoy their meal. He must be bored in that frozen pasture 24/7. I would be. But he's a horse, and probably not. Besides, his play toy cow-pony gets turned out everyday. I remind myself Koda & Nemo take pleasure in the residents daily turn-out, a herd is company.
I really don't mind winter, and like playing in the snow (when we have some) but I just can't seem to make myself ride alone down at the farm. Maybe if I was truly alone, and not on a stage, it would be a little easier. Between the footing and the situation, it doesn't appeal to me. Not to mention the little confidence I had to ride alone, is gone. No desire to walk in hand through the muck/uneven frozen ground either. I've tried to just enjoy being with the horses & groom when the residents aren't pastured, but that's rare and doesn't work so well in outdoor conditions. Such is life in the winter, for a farm pastured horse & his owner.
Welcome to my pity party, can I offer you some cheese with my whine?
In my mother's famous words, there are worse things. Spring will come, eventually the ground will dry up, trails will open and yes, even I will ride again. Until then maybe we will get some warmer winter weather, I'll be brave and try riding in it regardless...instead of making a great mistake.
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is
to be continually fearing you will make one."
~ Elbert Hubbard
p.s. If you don't know who Elbert Hubbard is, read his wiki - he was one interesting and wise guy.
1 hour ago