one degree

It is 1F in WI this morning, it feels as cold as I feel distant to my horse. It's been so long since I've ridden or spent time with him, all I am left with is wonder. How will I  __________ fill in the blank. Whatever connection Koda & I had built up, fades away one degree at a time...

...feeding grain on weekends while hubby forks over some hay, pales in comparison. Koda isn't interested in interacting, he wants his food. Normal and expected. He tolerates my hugs, but then we leave and let them enjoy their meal. He must be bored in that frozen pasture 24/7. I would be. But he's a horse, and probably not. Besides, his play toy cow-pony gets turned out everyday. I remind myself Koda & Nemo take pleasure in the residents daily turn-out, a herd is company.

I really don't mind winter, and like playing in the snow (when we have some) but I just can't seem to make myself ride alone down at the farm. Maybe if I was truly alone, and not on a stage, it would be a little easier. Between the footing and the situation, it doesn't appeal to me. Not to mention the little confidence I had to ride alone, is gone. No desire to walk in hand through the muck/uneven frozen ground either. I've tried to just enjoy being with the horses & groom when the residents aren't pastured, but that's rare and doesn't work so well in outdoor conditions. Such is life in the winter, for a farm pastured horse & his owner.

Welcome to my pity party, can I offer you some cheese with my whine?

In my mother's famous words, there are worse things. Spring will come, eventually the ground will dry up, trails will open and yes, even I will ride again. Until then maybe we will get some warmer winter weather, I'll be brave and try riding in it regardless...instead of making a great mistake.

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." 

 ~ Elbert Hubbard

p.s.  If you don't know who Elbert Hubbard is, read his wiki - he was one interesting and wise guy.


Martine said...

Lots of my on-line horsey friends are feeling the mid-winter blues at the moment. It makes me feel a bit better, because I've been struggling to get out and ride too. I miss my trekking companion, who is recovering after a hip operation, and I find it hard to get motivated to scrape all the muck off my horse and ride alone.
Spring is surely just over the horizon and things will get easier. Meanwhile, Misery loves Company! We're all in this together!

The Dancing Donkey said...

I'm with you on this one! This kind of cold just sucks all ambition away and even if I could muster some, the treacherous, frozen mud is impossible. Spring can't come soon enough.

fernvalley01 said...

Hang in there my friend, every thing you do with hhim even if it is just to stroke his neck a moment counts. SOon spring will be here and oh the fun you wil have

C-ingspots said...

Oh, I can relate. Not to that cold of weather, but I am a winter wuss when it comes to spending time with the horses. I feed, groom and hang out but that's about it. No desire to slip and slide and get cold. I don't believe your horses will forget anything. Not one bit. They may need some tuning up, just like us, but they remember everything. So, no worries...like your momma says, spring will come and then you'll ride again! I like that guy's quote too. How true is that!?