highs & lows

I've been posting a lot about our recent land purchase, a definite high. Thanks so much for commenting, and sharing in our joy!! Things have settled down, and sunk in. I won't be posting daily play-by-plays, promise! I thought about doing a "blogger gone wild" post, about my sudden rash of blog posting, but I'm pretty sure that would have attracted the wrong audience!!  

Last weekend we spent an afternoon beginning to clear cacti from a trail path, and hauling some of our panels to set up temporary paddocks. 

We also enjoyed a nice long relaxing hike, on what the former owners call "the loop". We discovered tiny wild flowers, trees in bloom and spent time lingering in areas of interest. It was quiet and peaceful.

I haven't been riding much the past couple weeks. Once a week, to be exact. Both were brief rides in the indoor, and lacked luster. Koda feels tight & distracted. Just like me. Between Nemo's allergies and the weather, we've been stuck riding inside. Random people are coming out of the woodwork to ride, it's hard to avoid them in the smaller arena. It is B-o-r-i-n-g, with a capitol B, to ride in a lumpy empty box with white walls for endless months. The horses spook at the end of the arena, and it always seems to be grain time when we finally manage to arrive at the barn. Sigh. I am just tired of it all. I know, cry me a river. I should be thankful, and I am - but under the circumstances it can be hard to look forward to riding. Consequently, it feels like Koda & I have taken a big step backwards. He hasn't done anything wrong, it's just me.

I've found we get along much better with frequency, focus and variety. None of these are happening. A definite low. I seem to be on everyone else's watch. The less I ride, the less I want to ride. I start to question my motives, and ponder...what am I doing with my life? and why?? 

This spring we've had weird (er) weather, windy with cool stretches. Last weekend I chose not to ride and instead left Koda playing in the field. He was acting like a rambunctious colt, snorting, bucking and running around high headed - you know, being a horse. All by himself. Like a nut. Nemo wanted no part of his silliness, and neither did I. It's not only about riding, at least not for me. Who's horse was that anyways? Not the one that will be walking trails with me anytime soon.


Shirley said...

Yup, pick your battles- or, conversely, your good times. You don't have anything to prove. I could have ridden this afternoon, but chose to do more of getting ready for Ted's big birthday party on Sunday- and I'm sure Coulee was quite happy to spend the afternoon grazing. Just because we own horses doesn't mean we have to ride every day.

Grey Horse Matters said...

You've got so much going on lately it doesn't matter if you ride or not. I'm sure Koda is not keeping a journal of when you ride and he most likely couldn't care less. I haven't ridden in a while because of commitments and the puppy. Enjoy exploring and getting your property ready. Riding will wait until you've got your head in the game. Have fun and do what you want to do, don't force yourself out of a sense of guilt.

C-ingspots said...

What is it about people and feeling guilt??? I do the same thing to myself and it seems like a wasted emotion and wasted energy fretting about what we're not doing. Sometimes I feel like the queen of feeling guilty about so many things. What I'm doing, what I'm not doing, what I'm not doing enough of...blah blah blah. Maybe it stems from the list that is always in my head. You know, that list of things that I need to do, and those that I'd like to do, and then there's the list of those things that I should be doing. No matter how much I accomplish, I always feel like it's not enough, or that I'm somehow lacking. *sigh* And sometimes I can't seem to figure out what I really do feel like doing, and I worry about what other people think of me, and they probably aren't even thinking about me at all. See? I am the queen. Maybe deep down, we really are all the same. I just hope you enjoy this time of excitement, with all the planning, the expectations and getting to explore your new land. I'm very happy for you. And when you're ready to ride, your horse will be right there waiting for you.

Mrs Shoes said...

You noticed those little flowers - to me, that IS a big thing.
That's a lovely photo!

fernvalley01 said...

boy am I behind! congratulations on the land purchase!